The world loves... JP Garwood

Sharks On My Lawn

2006-08-23


The guy who is putting in a new drainage system in my yard calls me "Bro". Actually there are quite a few guys working on the project, but the A#1 guy calls me "Bro", the others don't call me anything. This guy's name is Sharkey. This is his actual name, and not a name he uses to sound more like a fictional character. Sharkey takes long breaks and speaks loudly into his cell phone. Sharkey drinks liter bottles of Coca-Cola in under 5 seconds. Sharkey keeps a cigarette behind his ear. Sharkey has a truck that says "Sharkey and Sharkey" on it. So far, I have yet to see the other Sharkey.

Why am I telling you this? Because I believe Sharkey would want me to. He is proud of his work. He says he is the best. He did the landscaping at the Liberty Science Center. He told me that. I believe him. I have no choice but to believe a man named Sharkey. He is good at the game of pool. He told me this, and I believe him. I am not good at the game of pool. I told him this, and he said "Got to practice, Bro". I do need to practice. How will I ever get any better?

Sharkey is both taller and wider than myself. A fearsome predator in an ocean of torn up lawn. He could kill me if he wanted to. I am sure he knows how. He won't though. I trust him. I have no choice but to trust him. He has done all the major projects in this area. He told me that, and I believe him. His voice is both deep and gruff, like the deep sea where his aquatic namesake prowl. Each word is pronounced both loudly and clearly. He gets his point across. He owns his company. He told me that, and I believe him. I am sure the other Sharkey is just along for the ride.

I will sleep very well tonight, for the first time in a long time. I have full confidence that my basement will never again take on water or dreadful seepage. Molds will no longer haunt my night time visions. Musty basement odors will vanish, to be replaced by a faint smell of sea air. I will never have to worry about these things again. Sharkey told me that, and I believe him. I have no choice but to believe him. He is Sharkey. I am only me.

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