I went to the cupboard to find I was out of cookies. I suspect the Mafia took my last Fig Newtons. So, I took my moped down to the supermarket. I bought some Fig Newtons, and I bought some mustard just in case. While I was at the supermarket I thought I saw Cher, but it turned out to be a Elvira Mistress of the Dark promo cut out. It fooled an old man with a hat too. He kept holding his receipt towards her face to get an autograph. I thought about telling him the error of his ways, but I didn't want to break his heart. So instead I stole his wallet and used the twenty bucks to buy some beer. More updates ahead on this exciting election night.