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The Story Of Margaret and Duke

by JP Garwood

Margaret Testman could sing like a lark. Any key (within reason) and any song (without reason). You picked what you wanted to hear, and it was beautiful. That was the benefit of Margaret. The drawback of Margaret was that he was 6'8" of solid man. I mean solid too. Not even a hot acupuncture needle could pierce his epedermis. No, not even the epedermis. You could not get through the skin at all, he was solid.

Solid, and he would beat men to a pulp. Not just a good old fashion ass kicking after church either. No sir. Margaret Testman was too much man for that, unfortunately. He would beat men savagely. The kind of merciless, unbridled violence that Freddy Krueger and Jason and that gang would hve to GO to the movies to experience. But, it wasn't a movie. Oh, God, no. It was real all right. Head bashing, bone crushing, skull cracking reality.

One day Margaret was laying into Little Duke Bellows (son of Big Duke Bellows, grandson to Astronomical Duke Bellows). He walloped Duke with everything he had. So bad the crowd sent up shouts-- "Dear God who can stop him?", and "We shall all surely perish at his mighty hand!". But it was Duke's girlfriend, Bobbysue Suebobby that yelled out "Please, not his face, he plays the violin!".

This, of course, was not true, but it was one hell of a clever ruse. Margaret loved the violin. A passion he had since encountering a band of gypsies in his childhood. He picked up Little Duke, and without the slightest bit of anger or terror, he ate him. The violin meant that much.

Bobbysue married Margaret sixteen minutes later at St. Anne of Anne's House Church. Two hours after that she had Margaret's stomach pumped as a wedding present. Another clever ruse. When Little Duke popped out she divorced Margaret and married ol' Duke. They live together to this day beside a house in a tree. God bless them, and I mean it this time.

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