The world loves... JP Garwood

The Journey So Far

2004-03-03


Well, Leslie, we are entering our fourth year together. If you were a child, and I the father, you would be preparing for a life in the mines by now. However, you are not a child, I not a father, and the mines have been closed down except for a few spots for teens to light campfires and drink tiny cans of beer. "Nips" I believe they are called by a bipartisan commision.
No, Leslie, you are not a child, but a flock. Not a flock of sheep or goats, but of human knowledge seekers. The sheep and goat disguises don't fool me a bit. I can see your eyes right through the masks. In your quest for knowledge you have made quite a few advancements over these past four years. Let us take a gander at what we have discovered so far. Gaze with me into the well polished-mirror of viewing......
We have learned that when people seek knowledge they rarely sign their own names. There are a number of reasons for this, but we don't know what that number is. We are only sure that the number is not sixteen.
We have also learned that for every ten or so questions seeking true knowledge, there will be one question seeking some information about excrement. Not that excrement isn't important, it is seventh on the list of importance just behind those quarters with states on the back, but it is a rather simple concept to grasp.
Lastly, we have learned that the quest for knowledge is a never ending journey. It is kind of like going to your Aunt Flo's house except that you never get there. Please understand that we are hard at work around here trying to figure out where this quest should end, but the maps are old and smudged with strawberry jelly fingerprints. When we do figure out the end for the quest for knowledge, we will certainly pass that along to you.
But for now, let us just continue down that long road together. Let us continue to make our two sets of footprints in the sand. And when you look back to occasionally see only one set of footprints, that is where I was carrying you, or when I stopped to take a pee. I am looking forward to the journey ahead. We are closing in on 5000 questions in the "Ask JP" forum, and that will be a momentous occasion when it arrives. Let's keep on trucking, Leslie, because there is still so much to be done.

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